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Doing its part for sexual and environmental awareness, Lemon Antifreeze presents the Rinse and Reuse program. LAU AIDS specialist, Dr. Duvreau, explains:

“There are ducklings with condoms on their beaks. That isn’t the picturesque nature scene we sought for our children. The R & R message is that if you’re practicing safe sex, practice rinsing and reusing your condoms, as well. LAU studies have shown that thoroughly rinsing prophylactics is nearly half as effective as using new ones. This program will save lives because all lives matter or at least that’s we try to believe.”

Rinse & Reuse Condom Program

A golden dong does not rust.

Chew not your thumb, for whom will sit on it?

Xin Xu Xi Xan (Sept 23, 1233 – Jan 11, 1283 CE)

Xan was a 13th-century scholar-general in the last years of the Eastern Song Dynasty.

Ancient Proverbs

Is Malaria an STD?

Having settled the class action lawsuit against them, Xin Xi, Vice President of Public Relations for Fortune Condoms Limited, has an announcement:

“While our customers were happy with the general truths and prophecies found in each Fortune Condom wrapper, despite some of the safety issues, they also desired a product they could consume after intercourse. So we are delighted to say that from now on all manufactured Fortune Condoms will be completely edible!”

Fortune Condoms

31-year-old, Danielle DuCrab, volunteer with Doctors With Borders, claims that the malaria she received from a mosquito bite on her vagina while working in South Sudan wasn’t just any ordinary parasitic infection but, in fact, a sexually transmitted disease.

You should’ve worn your mosquito net, trollop!

In a record-setting 2015, 86 lifeguards died drowning. What happened?

Dieticians and yogis claim it’s due to the rise in obesity, since several lifeguards were found floating belly-up along side bags of Doritos. Scientists and liberals say it’s global warming, noting that the rising sea levels also affected the pool areas, and that some conservative lifeguards were not prepared for this change.

Either way, it’s time to close down pools.

Swimming at the Bottom

Don’t be a condom denier and Rinse and Reuse!