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Do you like your rich people on organic diets, free of processed foods, GMOs, antibiotics, growth hormones, pesticides, and chemical fertilisers?

Then let them sip on 5000$ bottles of Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Montrachet Grand Cru and fine-dine on 5 course meals of petite parmesan baskets, butternut squash soups, mesclun salads, lobster tails with hasselback potatoes, and small chocolate cake rounds for dessert.

In the mean time, don’t worry about your tightening budget and fattening the 1%, because the hungrier you are, the better they’ll taste.

Rich Taste

● Split: A Story of Two Ass Cheeks

● Jeffrey Jumps Onto the Highway and Dies

● Democracy Gave Me Cancer

You Can Have My Ovaries

Maurice’s Doc List

LGP Legislation Proposal

LA University historians have unearthed even more evidence about Charlie Chaplin’s deviance, this time that he may have had sexual relationships with underage mutes.

Of course, the victims had no comments.

And while these findings are from the silent movie era, historians believe some gestures to be very inappropriate.

Molested Mutes

In what turned out to be an unusual Remembrance Day, a young girl contracted a dangerous virus. Forced by her patriotic parents to wear the Remembrance Day poppy, the poppy pin pricked her and left her with Hepatitis C.

While unclear how the poppy pin was infected, it’s likely that a neglected veteran desperately tried to mainline the opium out of the plastic poppy using the pin as a syringe.

May her liver rest in peace.

The Liver to End All Livers

The Laughing Gas Party suggests outlawing hip replacements, since it’s draining the life out of the economy for the sake of a demographic that doesn’t have much time left, anyway. Spend the money in schools and infrastructure, and let the feeble breath in gaseous laughs.